Saturday, 20 February 2016

Character Assassination & The Narcissist (Defamation/Slander)

The narcissist has a wide array of tools and techniques at their disposal for using narcissistic abuse to control and manipulate their victim(s). By far one of the most powerful forms of narcissistic abuse that a narcissist may utilize is character assassination.

Character assassination is not only a violation of basic human rights but it can be incredibly destructive and devastating for the victim and is considered to be no different whatsoever to actual assassination in a court of law in many countries. Character assassination relies on mainly using defamation (or slander) to destroy the victim's reputation. However, when a narcissist carries out character assassination they develop what could be considered to be a full-blown distortion campaign in order to target their victim.

Narcissists mix subtle lies with truths and spread rumors among people who know the victim (usually family and friends) and they do so by recruiting their unconscious army of pawns (or flying monkeys). Because the lies are so subtle and have been mixed with truths (making them half-truths), the narcissist's flying monkeys are more likely to believe them and each one of them goes and tells another person, who then tells another person who tells another person and lies and rumors soon begin to spread. This can also often result in Chinese Whispers.

Suddenly, the narcissist begins to seem like the victim expertly playing the part as things progress and people's opinions of the victim begin to change. The victim knows intuitively that something is wrong and that something is going on. It becomes obvious, although at first they may not realize that the narcissist is the true source of the distortion. Eventually, the lies and rumors may begin to surface and the victim may become aware of them but usually it's too late. People have already been primed to believe what they've been told. Another large part of the problem is that if some of the narcissist's pawns realize what's been going on, they may begin to feel guilty and will use similar tactics in order to cover up their own actions.

The more a victim attempts to expose the true actions of the narcissist, or their army of pawns, the stronger and more powerful their attempts at character assassination become and the more they destroy their victim's reputation. They leave the victim with no other choice but to allow the lies and rumors to circulate or they will only continue to make things worse.

[ Image: Gaffey at Pixabay - Public Domain - ]


  1. My mom and sister. When I go to family gatherings other family members ask me questions to verify what has been said. I am over it. What was said about sticks and stones lol

    1. It's a difficult situation to be in. Love your username!

  2. Mark,

    I love your writings regarding narcissism. I have firsr hand experience of the damage a narcissist can do. I was involved with a narcissist for two and a half years. My experience with him was one of the most painful relationships I have ever had. He used, abused, and openly humiliated me. I am currently writing a book about my healing from my toxic relationship with my narcissist. I would greatly appreciate it if I could use parts of this article - Character Assasination and the Narcissist and/or Psychological Murder - Death by Covert Abuse. Please email me at

  3. I was raised by a malignant narcissist who was also ASPD for 16 yrs. barely survived that, then married my husband who is the oldest of 6- a very close family, only to realize his sister is malignant NPD / BPD. I've been with him 15 yrs. and I'm soooooo fortunate to have been the scapegoat of both of these people. it's the most painful place to be- alone and abandoned by people who adamantly believe vicious lies. and for what? cuz a very disturbed person has chosen you to be the star of their show.

  4. This is happening to me right now. I can't even have my own treatment mental health team without her involvement. I am 27 and the headmaster of my school even has conversations with my mother. I was told from an early age I was mentally ill when in reality I have PTSD caused by false accusations, half truths, means of control, gaslighting, projection, deflection, blame shifting, and of course triangulation with everyone I try to get close to. There is no way out for me. I am in a dangerous position. I have called crisis lines. I have done my part on recognizing and establishing boundaries. They are no honored and constantly get over stepped as a show of power dynamics. My adult family goes through her to know how I am doing an when they act independently, get scolded. I am trapped and cannot find resources that understand the gravity of my situation.
    I was the whistle-blower/scapegoat as a young girl. When I blew my whistle, I was carted off to the psych unit. I have been involved with mental health care ever since. No one will stand up, by me, against any of this. She even knows my own disability lawyer for my hearing... I will never escape.

  5. My sister is a this exact character build and I am her victim. I'm desperate to know how to get it to end or if I have to remove her from my life. I've tried to remove her from my life and it only gets worse. If I cease talking to her she will then stalk me via text, phone, come to my house to confront me, etc.etc.. She will attempt to say she's done nothing wrong and how much she loves me sooooo much and showering me with pressure to over her yet again. It's so stressful and damaging to me on both ends of this relationship. She is ALWAYS the victim in her life and I've seem her cruelty to the men in her life or those who don't succumb to her pressure at work. She is RUTHLESS and does it all with a smile and compliments. Please help me know where I can learn to deal with this behavior or if I have to remove her completely. Underneath it all I love her very much but she is so damaging.